February; CNY, Birthdays & Valentine's Day

I'm a February girl. So beberapa kawan2 yang juga tarikh lahirnya jatuh dalam bulan Feb i akan ingat. Esp those from my high school; Marhalis, Asnidar & Eijeen. Also Sharidan. Happy Birthday to you guys too. I didnt expect anyone to remember my bday, no big deal. So I was surprised getting wishes from some of my friends yang dah lama tak jumpa.

I'm not the celebrating type of person. But i felt a bit disappointed coz my hubby didn't give me any present. Sekeping kad pun tak bagi. Sekurang2 ajak I dinner kat luar ke, his treat...

My partner gave me a set of hand made glass. It was beautiful. Sekarang boleh la I cuba Martha's Stewarts cocktails/drinks recipe kalau ada guest datang rumah.

My eldest sis brought me cookies. Love it. Sayangnya ada 9 pieces only. I ate it all all by myself, except the last 4 pieces, kena share with my daughter.

CNY - this year I didn't get much oranges like last times. Or any angpow from anyone. Kalau dulu2 kerja makan gaji, my boss Peter Tan would give me angpow. Kalau raya puasa pun dia ada bagi jugak. But our transport contractor, Mr Lee the lorry driver, angpow dia lagi banyak. Limau 1 kotak. Kacang la. Ohh Mr Lee, I miss u. I miss my old boss too. Where are you now ahh Peter Tan? I want to write about u la later. Magnificent soul!

Year of the Rat! Tahun cari duit. I got a big nose. When I was nineteen, my MD's secretary Ms Gan told me that my big nose will bring me luck. Prosperity. Dah more than 12 years, I'm still far away even from 'comfortable'. maybe this year is the starting of it. Work hard... work hard...

Then, there's Valentine's Day. Tak pernah celebrate it, but always am aware of it. This morning dapat that VD wish from MAS. It was a pleasant surprise.
K wished me VD too. Almost at 12noon. What can i say? Hmmm...

My hubby? Didn't wish at all. Doesn't need to I guess, as he says, he loves me every single day...

Permulaan Yang Baru

Aku ingin memulakan sesuatu semula

Tapi dari mana nak mulakan ya??

Bagaimana nak memulakannya semula ya??

For without you, I am lost..

SPEAK SOFTLY, LOVE
Andy Williams

Speak softly, love and hold me warm against your heart
I feel your words, the tender trembling moments start
We're in a world, our very own
Sharing our love that only few have ever known

Wine-colored days warmed by the sun
Deep velvet nights when we are one

Speak softly, love so no one hears us but the sky
The vows of love we make will live until we die
My life is yours and all because
You came into my world with love so softly love

Wine-colored days warmed by the sun
Deep velvet nights when we are one

Speak softly, love so no one hears us but the sky
The vows of love we make will live until we die
My life is yours and all because
You came into my world with love so softly love



Lagu2 yang takde kaitan dalam hidup I. Lovely songs.

Dah agak lama I didnt write anything here. So very hectic. Ntah apa yang sibuk sangat hari-hari. But today, here I am, wanting to write something but don't know how to go about it.

Guess I actually wanted to write here my feelings on what my partner just told me about. Her family wanted her to get married and settled down. The candidate is a friend of a family member. She will have to move away. I was driving and she sat next to me when she broke the news to me. Both were crying after that, for different reasons i reckon. She, for the thought of losing the love of her life. And me, for the thought of losing the love of my life. Huh? Macam sama? Cinta dia ialah pada kekasih dia yang tidak akan dia miliki sebagai teman hidup kerana berlainan agama. And the love of my life is her. The thought of not having her in my life terrifies me. How can I live without her? She's my strength. My angel. I was lost before I met her. I would be lost again without her.

I should be happy for her. I am happy for her. At last, dia akan ada tempat untuk bermanja. Dia akan ada seseorang untuk berkasih sayang, berkongsi hidup dan segalanya. Dia akan bahagia kerana akhirnya cita-citanya untuk memiliki seseorang dan dimiliki seseorang sebagai teman hidup akan tercapai. That's also my wish for her lah. If those craps do existlah.

I just cannot find the exact words to use to express my feelings. Somehow I think whoever reads this will get the picture that I am jealous or i take it negatively. I am sad, beyond sad. I am in the melancholy state. I dont think anyone have what I and her have. That special relationship we shared. She's more than a business partner, more than a friend, closer than a sister.

Bla bla bla...